He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
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