I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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