Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize