toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
