Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
