is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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