We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
only you would photoshop your dick
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
