i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
