Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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