Cold hands, warm shart.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
