Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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