its not stalking. its research.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
