Your face is a jimmy john
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
