Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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