Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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