She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
