Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
