Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
