If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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