I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
