Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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