You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
