I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
