That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
