Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
