Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
