Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize