This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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