that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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