Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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