his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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