I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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