I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
