My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
