Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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