did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
