worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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