so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
