the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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