Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
