i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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