so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize