Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
