hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You need Xanax blowdarts
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
