Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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