I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
