she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How does one acquire holy water?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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