The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
