YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
