I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
