My room smells like vodka and shame
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
