I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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