the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
