I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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