I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
