It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Congratulations! We have a period
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
