dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
