So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
