The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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