i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
