Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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