Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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