Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
